penetrat0r (penetrat0r) wrote in pora_valit,
penetrat0r
penetrat0r
pora_valit

Взгляд второго поколения svaliвших на первое или Культурные стереотипы strike back :-)

Предлагаю вашему вниманию подборку реакций детей "сваливших", которые успели вырасти зарубежом, на поведенческие стереотипы их родителей.
Взято из http://iva-no-va.livejournal.com/540087.html и первоисточников - http://www.russiangirlproblems.com/top и http://www.russianguyproblems.com/top
Вообще, Брайтон Бич какой-то :-), конечно, но проанализировав я понял, что от некоторых из изюминок поведенческих стереотипов я и сам несвободен :). А вы?

Сожалею, но умение читать по-английски более чем желательно. Впрочем, равно как и для собственно темы сообщества ;-).

Итак, top Russian Girl Problems, про мальчиковые проблемы ниже :):
  • At one point in your life, you had a carpet hanging on your wall.
  • Your mom will tell you to lose weight, and 5 minutes later ask you why you are not eating her piroshki.
  • Having so much food on the table at every single party your parents host that can last for weeks when the party ends.
  • Your mom tells you to eat something she just made and you say "mama, i'm not hungry," and she replies "a shto?! nada bit golodnim shtob eta pokushat?!"
  • Running out of semechki is a crisis.
  • You are upstairs. Papa calls from downstairs. Why? Two possible reasons: 1 He wants you to bring him his tapochki (which lie about 10 feet away, by the TV), or 2 It's just a proverka sluha (checking your hearing).
  • You say "Blin!" instead of "Shit!"
  • When your entire family calls "negrov" abezyanami
  • the main sport every russian kid has had to play once in their life: tennis, soccer, and durаk. if u dont know how to play durak, u should be disinherited.
  • When you get sunburned your grandparents tell you to put smetana on it
  • You can't go to a friend's house "s pustymi rukami" - you should bring a torktik.
  • Your parents insist on wearing a hat in the winter, because golova ne zopa.
  • "gavno na palachky" is worse than just plain "gavno"
  • There is no right time to eat anything cold. You either are sick, were just sick, or will get sick.
  • There are only 3 types of anti-septic your parents trust and use: zelyonka, iod and marganzovka. So you have variety of choices to be green, orange or purple.
  • "Holodets" is also known as "Jellied minced meat cooked with eggs and pig feet." Try getting any of your American friends to try that one.
  • Trying to explain to your American friends what "iolki palki", "obaldet" or "pizdets" means
  • Your dad brings peroshkee to the airport "Shtop ti nee kooshala drek", and airport security dosen't let you pass because they can't figure out what they are.
  • Every guy you date/dated your father calls "chistiy dibil”
  • Your mom insists that you clean your room before the cleaning lady comes "shtobi nye bilo stidno"
  • When relatives and family friends tell you: "you know when your mother was your age she already had a husband and a kid to take care of..."
  • When you come home from school or work you must change into your "domashniya" clothes.
  • When your grandma doesnt let you outside untill you finish your food, even though youre dying inside.
  • Forget the Tylenol - every cold must be treated with "bankee". Papa stands over you with a torch while mamma puts blankets on your back & yells at you to keep still. Then trying to hide the round circles on your back from your American friends.
  • "A chto k chau?"
  • When you invite a friend to your house, and your mother begins feeding him/her, you know she approves. Likewise, if no food is offered, you know not to bring them back
:-D

Про мальчиковые страдания :) :
  • The word eBay does not mean the same thing in Russian.
  • It takes forever to hang up the phone with your parents, da nu da da ok nu ok davai bye ok bye nu da ok davai
  • Coming to your Grandma's house and the first thing that comes out of her mouth is "Ti hoches Kushat?"
  • You look like a barbarian when you eat red beet soup with a big spoon of sour cream and onion on the side with black bread and butter.
  • all your deck of cards at home are missing the 2's, 3's, 4's and 5's.
  • when your whole family decides its a good idea to gather in one room and sit down at precisely the same time for a few awkward seconds just before they leave for a trip
  • You always sound like you are arguing when you speak Russian.
  • Ordering food delivery while your mom is home is risky business, you need to be prepared for an hour lecture how there is "normalneya yeda doma a te tolka kushayesh govno".
  • Your version of Tom and Jerry is NU PAGADI and you miss the Zayets.
  • Even though your a russian jew, your parents insist on getting a Christmas tree....For new years.
  • God forbid you throw away plastic grocery bags, your mom or grandma will yell at you and tell you that she needs them to use as trash bags!
  • Whenever you stay outside past 8pm, you get a phone call from your mom every hour till you say you're coming home.
  • When you go visit your grandparents house and instead you walk out with 5 bags filled with grandmas food.
  • Valerianka is the Russian type of xanax that your mom and grandma have a serious stash of.
  • Your trash is located directly under the sink and your Vodka bottle in the freezer
  • You can never explain to anyone that Vareniki and Pelmeni are not the same as Ravioli.
  • Your Mom tries to feed all of your friends if they ever come over. You get in a fight telling her they are not hungry!
  • Your parents running into someone they know and that person asking you, "Ti menya pomnesh," and you have absolutely zero idea who they are but they claim that your grew up with them in your pelyonki days.
  • Babushka needs some great-grand-kids, and she needs them FAST.
  • You spent most of your childhood with your babushka being served kasha e chai on a daily basis.
  • when you've contemplated changing your name so people can finally pronounce it.Your American friends always consult with you for great car deals, cell phone deals, hot to put miles back on your car, a way to get free HBO chanels, how to get bank after a car accident etc. because you are a sneaky Russian.

Tags: дети, за границей - русские, юмор
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